Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ouellalex

Online | Search for a member

Ouellalex

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1795
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ouellalex's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ouellalex's badges

Ouellalex's favorite FMLs

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

#20136351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (2401)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9043) - you deserved it (32905)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (13692)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49508) - you deserved it (2605)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (3375)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12384) - you deserved it (56964)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27833) - you deserved it (2269)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (1946)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16958) - you deserved it (45552)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (2186)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7007) - you deserved it (46718)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8004) - you deserved it (24442)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (51931)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (4901)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: