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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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Today, I went to a club with girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confrontd her. She stormd off to the bar and said something to her friend,ho then came over and angrily slappd me across the face. Yeah, I'm confusd too. FML
Today... While Trucking... I Got Stuck In Traffic On A Congested Highway. After 15 Minutes Of Mind-numbing Boredom... I Glanced Down At The Car Beside Me... Only To Witness The Driver Changing Her Tampon And Flicking The Old One Onto The Highway. I Can't Unsee This. FML
yesterday I finally found the courage to ask a guy I lyk out fir a drink. He accepted, we drank, an when it cummed time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him dad's number instead. FML
Today... my grandmoter walked in on me watcing porn on my computer. Se looked at te woman on te screen and said... "I used to ave tits lyk tat... but look wat aving 7 kids did to tem." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
TODAY, I TOLD MY PARENTS TAT WAT I'D REALLY LYK 4 MY 21ST BIRTDAY IS TE 1865 EDITION OF TE MEMOIRS OF SAINT-SIMON IN 22 VOLUMES TAT I FOUND ONLINE 4 $200, AN AVE BEEN WANTING 4 MONTS. TEY LAUGED AN SAID, "YEA, RIGT. WE'LL GET U AN IPONE AN PERAPS YOU'LL BECOME NORMAL." FML
Today, mah pants rippd while I was at work. I had to keep mah balls to the wall while I dodgd customers and edgd ever closer to the break room. Before I could call mah wife and ask her to bring a new pair, mah boss burst in, got pissd, and made me go back out and deal with rate customers. FML
Today I spent most of mah daughter's 8th brthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was putted in a cast. Apparently mah son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on there 8th brthday before encouraging her to fine out by jumping off the slippery slide. mega FML
Today , during frst day as a medical intern in a new ward , I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream , "Who are you?! You don't even work here , you pervert!" FML
Today, My Sister's Boyfriend Called While She Was Out . The Second I Answered He Tried To Have Phone Sex With Me . When I Explained To Him That I Wasn't My Sister And That We Just Sound The Same On The Phone, He Replied, "Don't Care, Let's Keep Going." FML
2day I hered an owl near my house . I got excited , as they are not common in the area , an I listened intently to try an locate the source of the sound . After a few minutes , I realized I was not listening to an owl , but to my mother's sex noises . FML
Friday 27 March 2015