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Ouellalex

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Ouellalex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1903
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Ouellalex's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29600) - you deserved it (6924)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (54806)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31647) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (6174)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10401) - you deserved it (34238)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32914) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41498) - you deserved it (3404)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (3931)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29622) - you deserved it (27426)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (5414)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

#20500417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (3293)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15208) - you deserved it (54092)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (4377)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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