Otium

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Otium

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 29420
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Otium : Stuff about me goes here.

Otium's page activity

Visits<b>whosthedeadone</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 11:15am<b>killomp</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:06am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:13am<b>pinklover24</b> - the 03/12/2011 at 4:40pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:02am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 3:50pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/19/2010 at 1:11pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:32am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 11:30am<b>mommy2be2010</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 10:29am<b>PhantomxBrave</b> - the 09/27/2009 at 11:15pm<b>CodeMonkey123</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 10:08pm<b>shallowgrave</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 7:32am<b>username666</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:26pm<b>griffmojo</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 4:36pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:55am<b>assman266</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 12:02am

Otium's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Otium's favorite FMLs

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML

by j1hill33 / 07/14/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told my little brother that Tokyo is in China. This is the same guy that yells at me every time I get a "B" on a report card. FML

by j1hill33 / 07/14/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

by argh / 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML

by wronged / 07/08/2011 at 4:41am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

by Nick / 07/08/2011 at 1:19am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML

by anonbob / 07/07/2011 at 9:28pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

by Snurkles / 07/07/2011 at 8:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids