Otium

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Otium

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28470
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Otium : Stuff about me goes here.

Otium's page activity

Visits<b>whosthedeadone</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 11:15am<b>killomp</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:06am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:13am<b>pinklover24</b> - the 03/12/2011 at 4:40pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:02am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 3:50pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/19/2010 at 1:11pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:32am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 11:30am<b>mommy2be2010</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 10:29am<b>PhantomxBrave</b> - the 09/27/2009 at 11:15pm<b>CodeMonkey123</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 10:08pm<b>shallowgrave</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 7:32am<b>username666</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:26pm<b>griffmojo</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 4:36pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:55am<b>assman266</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 12:02am

Otium's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Otium's favorite FMLs

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm / France / Love

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm / France / Love

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm / France / Love

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

by Matt / 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Work

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

by maryrain / 08/11/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 2:04am / Canada / Love

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

by Auston / 07/17/2011 at 1:16am / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

by imobesejk / 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

by adamclmns / 07/16/2011 at 6:52pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

by Rejected / 07/16/2011 at 9:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

by krissy8799 / 07/15/2011 at 12:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy