Otium

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Otium

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27091
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Otium : Stuff about me goes here.

Otium's page activity

Visits<b>killomp</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:06am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:13am<b>pinklover24</b> - the 03/12/2011 at 4:40pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:02am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 3:50pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/19/2010 at 1:11pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:32am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 11:30am<b>mommy2be2010</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 10:29am<b>PhantomxBrave</b> - the 09/27/2009 at 11:15pm<b>CodeMonkey123</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 10:08pm<b>shallowgrave</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 7:32am<b>username666</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:26pm<b>griffmojo</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 4:36pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:55am<b>assman266</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 12:02am<b>Enrunwen</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 5:40pm

Otium's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Otium's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 10:08am / United States / Kids

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

by RensM / 08/20/2011 at 5:54am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

by anonymous22kittylicklick / 08/20/2011 at 12:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

by shitless88 / 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

by jimmy / 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

by ginger / 08/19/2011 at 6:38am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

by leftwardfoil / 08/19/2011 at 2:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

by leftwardfoil / 08/19/2011 at 2:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous