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Otium

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Otium
  • Town/Country : Sweden
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17269
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Otium : Stuff about me goes here.

Otium's last visitors

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Otium's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Otium's favorite FMLs

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

#17867072
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24108) - you deserved it (3120)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:56pm - misc - by hellokitty133 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (1707)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

#17845836
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/27/2011 at 4:28am - health - by toughbf (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

#17844542
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (2030)

On 09/27/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
562 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (15877)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33786) - you deserved it (2352)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML

#17827650
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (3359)

On 09/25/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Eric Moore - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

#17811701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (3944)

On 09/23/2011 at 7:04am - love - by alone - China

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11412) - you deserved it (27412)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

#17793526
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (2748)

On 09/21/2011 at 3:01am - animals - by socks - United States

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

#17793526
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (2748)

On 09/21/2011 at 3:01am - animals - by socks - United States

Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML

#17780989
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23802) - you deserved it (9179)

On 09/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by stuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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