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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17968) - you deserved it (35374)
On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)
Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108956) - you deserved it (6844)
On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52594) - you deserved it (2879)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by matt5th35hit (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67386) - you deserved it (17981)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (132989) - you deserved it (8275)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140857) - you deserved it (32150)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (69787)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (75105)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to perform a lab in front of my bio class. I was mixing chemicals, when someone made a comment saying "What if it blows up?." Hearing it, I gave a 2 minute explanation about how it was impossible for it to explode. Two seconds later, the entire beaker exploded in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10669) - you deserved it (40420)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by biologyfailure. (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (100990)
On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53232) - you deserved it (4478)
On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101395) - you deserved it (7719)
On 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (551032) - you deserved it (35399)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
I agree, your life sucks (86394) - you deserved it (17606)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (104687) - you deserved it (4748)
On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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