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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
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Today, after months of my wife nagging me to finish building our son a tree-house, I put the finishing coat of paint on. When I called my son outside to see it, my wife decided it was too high and my son is not allowed up inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5032) - you deserved it (296)
On 06/19/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by turtleduck - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8335) - you deserved it (660)
On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
I agree, your life sucks (7464) - you deserved it (1322)
On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States
Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37482) - you deserved it (2876)
On 06/04/2013 at 2:47am - health - by samaram (woman) - United States
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41816) - you deserved it (12736)
On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43797) - you deserved it (2361)
On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (43789)
On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53613) - you deserved it (3907)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33161) - you deserved it (27282)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (6384)
On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31129) - you deserved it (8749)
On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34744) - you deserved it (2330)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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