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Orchard

Offline (the 09/20/2014 at 5:24pm) | Search for a member

Orchard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7405
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>maria95aa</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:56pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:54pm<b>ThePieGuy0817</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:12am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:07pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:09pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:22pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:02pm<b>countrygirl71</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:48am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:04pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:03am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:46am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:24pm<b>solonglonesome</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:16pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 2:31am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:43am<b>jrod9327</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:32pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:13pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 2:11pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss walked down to my office with me to get some paperwork after a very tense, important meeting. He patiently waited while I tried to unlock my office door with my remote for my car. Twice. FML

#13060463
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7456) - you deserved it (21375)

On 09/15/2010 at 11:01am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

#13052349
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (4888)

On 09/14/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7820) - you deserved it (43478)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (7369)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (11394)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

#13033925
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/13/2010 at 11:14am - misc - by dmvsucks (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (2889)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

#13017861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34359) - you deserved it (4468)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML

#13013607
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (4399)

On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

#13006773
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (5011)

On 09/11/2010 at 5:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34160) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7921) - you deserved it (24229)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved

Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML

#12983300
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5500) - you deserved it (44525)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8432) - you deserved it (38142)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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