Orchard

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Offline (the 06/26/2016 at 11:45pm)

Orchard

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 29778
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>BlindKola</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 4:42pm<b>jughead2994</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 4:54pm<b>silvermoon5033</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 8:22am<b>tjw1616</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 12:17pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:32am<b>DBKT</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 5:27pm<b>billboob</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 8:27am<b>C00k13monster</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 3:30am<b>rhiley</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 6:01am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:46pm<b>StyrisSand</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:39pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:27pm<b>YourGrammarSucks</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 12:24pm<b>thecakeisalie13</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 7:06am<b>jwwood</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 12:19am<b>tyee47</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 10:22pm<b>zodiac74</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 11:28pm<b>DeadpoolBeast13</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:01pm

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:01pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 8:08pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:51am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:42pm

Orchard's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Orchard's badges

Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML

by Congrats? / 10/27/2015 at 11:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

by zeeman2015 / 10/27/2015 at 9:32am / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2015 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

by Oli974 / 10/22/2015 at 9:08am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Work

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I found out the hard way that if you spontaneously begin to lose weight, you may have cancer, not an increased metabolism. FML

by BX / 10/17/2015 at 8:09am / Netherlands / Health

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

by scorned ex / 10/16/2015 at 11:29pm / Health

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 9:31am / United States / Work

Today, I was working out in the gym when a fitness trainer came up to me and said it wasn't safe to be exercising while this far along in a pregnancy. I was too ashamed to tell them that I'm not pregnant, so I went along with it. Time to find a new gym. FML

by dramaqueen15 / 10/15/2015 at 10:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend flamboyantly proposed to me in a packed restaurant. I promptly had a panic attack and fainted in front of at least fifty people and a full mariachi band. FML

by lacucarcha / 10/15/2015 at 5:47pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a minor argument with my fiancé. Deciding it wasn't worth fighting over, I shrugged and said, "Really, what are we even doing this for?" To which he replied, "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't loved you in years… Oh, you meant about the fight." And just like that, I'm now single. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 8:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

by Traveler / 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

by CA / 10/08/2015 at 10:46am / Norway / Work

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2015 at 8:16am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love