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Orchard

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Orchard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6589
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

#14368854
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (4435)

On 12/28/2010 at 11:47am - kids - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

#14368305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25890) - you deserved it (9672)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML

#14354901
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (2785)

On 12/27/2010 at 6:29am - kids - by DeadDude -

Today, my girlfriend dumped me via text message. The sad thing is that I left my fiancée of 5 years to be with a girl I worked with at Walmart. My ex-fiancée is now a doctor. I still work at Walmart. FML

#14353887
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9243) - you deserved it (98035)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

#14352354
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:23am - love - by motherlessbride (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

#14349476
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (2381)

On 12/26/2010 at 9:29pm - love - by strwbrry (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

#14348519
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7522) - you deserved it (31698)

On 12/26/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

#14342949
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55423) - you deserved it (4236)

On 12/26/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

#14338674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (5270)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by badhairday (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38043) - you deserved it (10289)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

#14330931
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27457) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:31am - love - by ima nerd - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (3926)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (3125)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML

#14326550
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12855) - you deserved it (23192)

On 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm - love - by Username - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

#14322197
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7437) - you deserved it (86728)

On 12/24/2010 at 10:12am - money - by Anonymous - United States



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