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Orchard

Offline (the 09/20/2014 at 5:24pm) | Search for a member

Orchard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7306
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

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Visits<b>maria95aa</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:56pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:54pm<b>ThePieGuy0817</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:12am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:07pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:09pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:22pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:02pm<b>countrygirl71</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:48am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:04pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:03am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:46am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:24pm<b>solonglonesome</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:16pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 2:31am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:43am<b>jrod9327</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:32pm<b>jazzmin1997</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:13pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 2:11pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend talked me into having drunk sex. Right after we started, my head hit a wall, knocking me out. I woke up to him taking pics of my tits. FML

#14417034
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32380) - you deserved it (11251)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Samantha - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML

#14407815
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (7914)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:06am - love - by bleurghh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

#14405039
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (3911)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

#14404021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34332) - you deserved it (5009)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I figured out why the man I've been seeing for 3 years hasn't asked for my hand in marriage. His current wife called me and told me all about it. FML

#14399805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (3643)

On 12/30/2010 at 7:45pm - love - by 3yrneveragainn -

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

#14399301
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6709) - you deserved it (42834)

On 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm - love - by lululee53 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

#14397840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8565) - you deserved it (37509)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - health - by infected - Denmark

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42227) - you deserved it (3255)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML

#14394529
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24128) - you deserved it (4722)

On 12/30/2010 at 10:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35123) - you deserved it (5516)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

#14386924
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43960) - you deserved it (8926)

On 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by ihateteenagers (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally found the words to describe how I felt after 2 years of depression. I asked on Yahoo Answers what I should do next. The most 'helpful' answer told me to go on a picnic. FML

#14386162
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10532) - you deserved it (23828)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML

#14377623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (2346)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Shepaintsmusic -

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10983) - you deserved it (50683)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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