Orchard

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Offline (the 06/26/2016 at 11:45pm)

Orchard

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 27732
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>tjw1616</b> - yesterday at 12:17pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:32am<b>DBKT</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 5:27pm<b>billboob</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 8:27am<b>C00k13monster</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 3:30am<b>rhiley</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 6:01am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:46pm<b>StyrisSand</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:39pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:27pm<b>YourGrammarSucks</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 12:24pm<b>thecakeisalie13</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 7:06am<b>jwwood</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 12:19am<b>tyee47</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 10:22pm<b>zodiac74</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 11:28pm<b>DeadpoolBeast13</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:01pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:07pm<b>my_dog_is_better</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:10am<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:15am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:01pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 8:08pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:51am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:42pm

Orchard's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Orchard's badges

Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

by :$ / 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

by mississippi123 / 08/06/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

by lils / 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé told me that he was having second thoughts on our engagement. Instead of just calling it off, he took me to a fancy restaurant and took a public poll on whether we should get married. The majority said no. FML

by exfiancee / 08/05/2012 at 9:20am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

by m / 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

by ooops / 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

by squeltorey / 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

by SingleAgain / 08/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

by danonno / 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, after rolling my car on the highway, I witnessed several people stop and get out of their cars to take pictures. No one asked if I was okay, and I was the one who had to call 911 for myself. FML

by Insomniac / 07/28/2012 at 5:56am / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

by maddiebauer / 07/26/2012 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

by strangebeans / 07/25/2012 at 1:27am / United States / Miscellaneous