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Orchard

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Orchard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16184
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

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Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:42am<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Captain_Debilos</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:44am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Vaginabutter</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:20pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>Willibobs</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:31am<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:42pm<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:38pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:34pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:10am<b>Evilseed</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:50am<b>Furby94</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:56pm<b>sophielock</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:41pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:42pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (4976)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14809) - you deserved it (45009)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (5715)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (2818)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

#17144161
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (4571)

On 07/17/2011 at 1:16am - work - by Auston (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40046) - you deserved it (3603)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54913) - you deserved it (9337)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54913) - you deserved it (9337)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54913) - you deserved it (9337)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15175) - you deserved it (65363)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43113) - you deserved it (3607)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11239) - you deserved it (77803) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29991) - you deserved it (5179)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11090) - you deserved it (57144)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

#16978964
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (3979)

On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)



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