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Orchard

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Orchard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13077
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

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Visits<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:42pm<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:38pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:34pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:10am<b>Evilseed</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:50am<b>Furby94</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:56pm<b>sophielock</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:41pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:47pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:37pm<b>sisas</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:02pm<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:59am<b>King_Skipper</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:46pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:56pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (53152)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (3305)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (5808)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67207) - you deserved it (3733)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML

#16391580
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (7595)

On 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by tb351 - United States

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17225) - you deserved it (41721)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

#16374822
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (72680)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9417) - you deserved it (32637)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (3521)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (5809)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33014) - you deserved it (20291)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47101) - you deserved it (7689)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (2521)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14784) - you deserved it (43358)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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