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Orchard

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Orchard
  • Town/Country : unknown, Unknown
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 3446
  • Number of comments : 192
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

#13894998
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (3151)

On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (7597)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

#13868959
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9070) - you deserved it (19319)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by genderbender (woman) - Reserved

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (9198)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8362) - you deserved it (21800)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38141) - you deserved it (5803)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38141) - you deserved it (5803)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

#13853853
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26653) - you deserved it (2045)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70752) - you deserved it (3925)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

#13850152
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20884) - you deserved it (4377)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15989) - you deserved it (5781)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49042) - you deserved it (2315)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML

#13836809
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (2896)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

#13836684
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (6683)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)



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