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Orchard

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Orchard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9033
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (3106)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (3179)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (3179)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (3179)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (3179)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (3179)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

#14847630
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48062) - you deserved it (3783)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

#14838369
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (6365)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:01am - kids - by dancer101 (woman) - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36343) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML

#14788536
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (6725)

On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48998) - you deserved it (3996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

#14753081
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52609) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by FamilySecret - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12117) - you deserved it (41928)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML

#14710569
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (3102)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (4612)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -



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