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Orchard

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Orchard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14718
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>Vaginabutter</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:20pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>Willibobs</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:31am<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:42pm<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:38pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:34pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:10am<b>Evilseed</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:50am<b>Furby94</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:56pm<b>sophielock</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:41pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:47pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:37pm<b>sisas</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:02pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42749) - you deserved it (3713)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

#16781129
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29454) - you deserved it (7744)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm - health - by Charles (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39497) - you deserved it (23764)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15410) - you deserved it (33631)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14003) - you deserved it (35899)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

#16637364
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28166) - you deserved it (11689)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38297) - you deserved it (7381)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (5534)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46494) - you deserved it (4761)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (10949)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (7182)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (53535)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36553) - you deserved it (3308)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36819) - you deserved it (2991)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (5815)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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