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Orchard

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Orchard
  • Town/Country : unknown, Unknown
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 3331
  • Number of comments : 192
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17349) - you deserved it (40480)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45853) - you deserved it (2823)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (10085)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42623) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (2547)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (83347)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (6034)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (49905)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54519) - you deserved it (8926)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (5841)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20572) - you deserved it (70175)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (6020)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15661) - you deserved it (80795)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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