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Orchard

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Orchard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14748
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>Vaginabutter</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:20pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>Willibobs</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:31am<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:42pm<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:38pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:34pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:10am<b>Evilseed</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:50am<b>Furby94</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:56pm<b>sophielock</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:41pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:47pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:37pm<b>sisas</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:02pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes 4 my birthday so I could "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33344) - you deserved it (5795)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today.. . wifa and I drova two hours from our rural town to buy a naw sofa . Whan wa got homa.. . it took us an looool hour to figura out thara was no way to fit it through our door . Wa mada tha two hour driva back to raturn it.. . only to fina tha stora was closad . maga FML

#21308507
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (9090)

On 11/30/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by davy0540 - United States

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat an ask crush wat he wanted for Christmas. He said "A grlfriend." I took off Santa hat an yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE grlfriend." FML

#21308095
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (4683)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received ( foreskin ) as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (2774)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, I ACCIDENTALLY CALLD MY BOSS 'MOM' . NOW SHE IS JOKINGLY TELLING EVERYONE THAT I'M THE LONG-LOST DAUGHTER SHE GAVE UP FOR ADOPTION, BECAUSE SHE KNEW I'D BE A FAILURE . FML

#21304319
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (3712)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today... I Learned That If Life Gives You Lemons... Yur Sister Is Going To Squeeze Them Over Yur Face While You Take A Nap On The Couch. FML

#21303546
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (2176)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by ShutUp007 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, te grl I'd been dating online for 6 monts told me se was a guy!! I said it was alrigt, and tat I was still in love!! Ten se confessd se really was a grl, and was just trying to make me dump er so se wouldn't be te "bad guy"!! FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (6541)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

my supervisor was watching a video of his son . I heard a voice in the background an asked if it was Elmo . It was his wife . FML

#21302177
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (5051)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dream that I kickd the moon like a soccer ball. It startd swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (3450)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today... I heard my mother say... "I feel bad 4 any girl that marrie him because he's... what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me.

#21300656
68 comments

Today looool , ma boyfriand broka ta bd pratanding to ba a catarpillar!! FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (8044)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Yesterday, while shopping, a lady cummd up to me an askd if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry an they'll let me checkout frst." big fat FML

#21297177
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (2453)

On 11/11/2014 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - France

TODAY, I SAT MY SON DOWN FIR A TALK ABOUT HOW HE'S BEEN TOO LAZY TO BRUSH HIS TEETH LATELY . I SAID "SON, WE NEED TO HAVE A CHAT ABOUT ORAL HYGIENE." HE ROLLED HIS EYES, SIGHED, AND SAID HE ALREADY KNEW TO CLEAN "IT" BEFORE A GIRL WENT DOWN ON HIM, AND ASKED IF HE COULD GO ALREADY . FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (4683)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, mah anxiaty got so bad that whan I stola a sword in Skyrim and rasistd arrast, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I andd up curling up on tha sofa as mah charactar got hackd to daath on tha TV. FML

#21294889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (7986)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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