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Orchard

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Orchard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 August 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 19173
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Orchard : “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.”
~ Madeleine L'Engle

Orchard's page activity

Visits<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:03pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:50pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:01am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:35am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:53am<b>countrygirl71</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:42pm<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Captain_Debilos</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:44am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Vaginabutter</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:20pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:05am<b>Willibobs</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:31am<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 2:38pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:34pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:10am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:42pm

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Orchard's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26670) - you deserved it (8710)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (2116)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (3704)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML

#21403264
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (2525)

On 05/02/2015 at 4:04am - work - by tumblrinas_at_work (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (3102)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (2199)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (2199)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (2199)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14194) - you deserved it (29050)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29887) - you deserved it (5554)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (4547)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33123) - you deserved it (4927)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (8029)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

#21398399
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32749) - you deserved it (6249)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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Friday 26 June 2015

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