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OptimusFine

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OptimusFine
  • Town/Country : West Virginia, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 39
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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OptimusFine's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54465) - you deserved it (4093)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47111) - you deserved it (9790)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (42747)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18339) - you deserved it (37700)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (384720) - you deserved it (61665)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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