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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3626
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Butts.

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32576) - you deserved it (3093)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after a huge heartbreak and a night of crying, I wake up to an empty house. I go in the kitchen to make breakfast and see a note on the counter saying "We heard you crying last night and didn't want to hear you complaining this morning, so we went to the mall. -Mom" FML

#14895293
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36498) - you deserved it (7600)

On 02/08/2011 at 12:21pm - love - by heartbroken - United States

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (2705)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

#14608702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (3260) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I got a call from Red Cross about the blood donation I gave last week. They informed me that I have Hepatitis C. FML

#14524206
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (3693)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Serbia

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

#14335175
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (2244)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Connor - United States (New York)

Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML

#14267236
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:29am - work - by promoted (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22288) - you deserved it (5182)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

#13506521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (3920)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by S3R1AL K1LL3R X - United States

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119696) - you deserved it (11808)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (55451)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

#9519577
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11065) - you deserved it (61139)

On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32754) - you deserved it (6674)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML

#8887792
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (2350)

On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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