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OnlyAvailableIDOnlyAvailableID
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 6676
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14271) - you deserved it (24556)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13651) - you deserved it (32126)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (6355)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65462) - you deserved it (3148)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65462) - you deserved it (3148)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent five hours sobbing in my room due to anti-depressant withdrawal. My mother refused to come and talk to me, because I'm "a terrible, hateful child who only cares about herself." Last week I spent two hours comforting her because my brother hadn't called in a week. FML

#18752828
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29569) - you deserved it (3223)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32709) - you deserved it (4936)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45354) - you deserved it (7309)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

#18572874
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (16107)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm - work - by Tey - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33278) - you deserved it (6449)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30459) - you deserved it (5369)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (4576)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (6450)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (5451)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML

#18392103
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31421) - you deserved it (5077)

On 11/30/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by BFH4Life (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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