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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML
by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money
by Parental Support / 08/30/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by scammed / 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML
by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
by Kannachan13 / 08/28/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by still together / 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML
by nowork / 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML
by what the fuck / 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Work
Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML
by Hannahb17 / 08/23/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Katthebamf / 08/18/2013 at 7:33pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, I finished my final art project for school. Worked on it from 6pm until 2am every night for… Today, while browsing the Internet on my phone I noticed a spider above my bed. Being pretty chill… Today, I realized I finally had enough money saved to surprise my girlfriend with her dream trip to…