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OnlyAvailableID

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OnlyAvailableID

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4068
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About OnlyAvailableID : Eudaemonia.

OnlyAvailableID's page activity

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OnlyAvailableID's favorite FMLs

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

#20839746
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51627) - you deserved it (3003)

On 08/16/2013 at 1:02am - kids - by justwantingtohelp - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49140) - you deserved it (3136)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

#20836611
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (3475)

On 08/14/2013 at 2:41am - misc - by HoratioNo (man) - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48019) - you deserved it (17144)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

#20835654
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (3791)

On 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm - love - by Zanovitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45107) - you deserved it (4023)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (44047)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50315) - you deserved it (4395)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67320) - you deserved it (5808)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

#20812711
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44893) - you deserved it (4802)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Bnewlove - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61170) - you deserved it (4173)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56826) - you deserved it (8884)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

#20810453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33094) - you deserved it (8349)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42442) - you deserved it (3115)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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