Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

OneWithNoRegrets

Search for a member

OneWithNoRegrets

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 571
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About OneWithNoRegrets : Just anouther person. Cheers

OneWithNoRegrets's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

OneWithNoRegrets's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

#3104897
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60535) - you deserved it (4548)

On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

#2901718
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (23295)

On 06/15/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

#2865123
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44971) - you deserved it (2333)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (38651)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36099) - you deserved it (61353)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

#2372451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51091) - you deserved it (2990)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

#1976392
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45011) - you deserved it (8820)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

#1592425
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69366) - you deserved it (18188)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23303) - you deserved it (73358)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (475765) - you deserved it (29187)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

#764991
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (105462)

On 04/02/2009 at 11:34am - intimacy - by imsorrytimmy (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65388) - you deserved it (31469)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99944) - you deserved it (24764)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: