Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Omfgitsmia

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 7:01pm) | Search for a member

Omfgitsmia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2852
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Omfgitsmia's page activity

Visits<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>alixia84</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:39am<b>Cleu</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:54pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:46pm<b>flint37stone</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:31pm<b>n4ture</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:13pm<b>haocl</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:14am<b>ss521</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:01am<b>mandy_2480</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 1:15am<b>BubbleGrunge</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:37am<b>panther2013</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:14pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 11:09am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:05pm<b>pinklover1121</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:35pm<b>97mailo</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 3:08am<b>msmarles</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:16am<b>haynicole</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:25pm

Omfgitsmia's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Omfgitsmia's badges

Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35058) - you deserved it (2897)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37267) - you deserved it (5433)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38825) - you deserved it (2803)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (2681)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32775) - you deserved it (7555)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46457) - you deserved it (3969)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you deserved it (40969)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38081) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (36458)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44341) - you deserved it (9219)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (34246)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19254) - you deserved it (39192)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43369) - you deserved it (2496)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34263) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: