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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (3600)
On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (3600)
On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8235) - you deserved it (34021)
On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8235) - you deserved it (34021)
On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (15980)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (2159)
On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15313) - you deserved it (18532)
On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (2820)
On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States
Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (4400)
On 10/12/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by lovelesslonely (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (2329)
On 10/09/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by jessii - United States (New York)
Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (23873)
On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (23873)
On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6183) - you deserved it (36710)
On 08/03/2010 at 6:40am - misc - by MyFaceHurts (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (5663)
On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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