Omfgitsmia

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/10/2016 at 7:45pm)

Omfgitsmia

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7183
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Omfgitsmia's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:44pm<b>jrey6104</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 6:18pm<b>Risea</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:51am<b>domfux</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 3:13am<b>Macysdayparade8</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:03am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:52am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:56pm<b>hectorito55</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:44pm<b>lationas</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:38pm<b>JessicaM6</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:27pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:14pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:53pm<b>iammaddi</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Daunknownx25</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:10am<b>poiuipop</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:57am<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:14pm

Omfgitsmia's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Omfgitsmia's badges

Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

by Nico / 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm / Work

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

by juno_op / 02/11/2013 at 1:17pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals