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Omfgitsmia

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Omfgitsmia
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 396
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Omfgitsmia's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (4336)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (6489)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (6489)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40424) - you deserved it (1700)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105262) - you deserved it (5804)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (5101)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (2672)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML

#16267088
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (2166)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm - work - by jayc80 (man) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (24881)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (24881)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

#15408372
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (4925)

On 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39222) - you deserved it (3006)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

#14841865
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (2833)

On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13862) - you deserved it (54780)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15485) - you deserved it (7491)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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