Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Omfgitsmia

Offline (the 02/06/2016 at 4:07pm) | Search for a member

Omfgitsmia

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6373
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Omfgitsmia's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:44pm<b>jrey6104</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 6:18pm<b>Risea</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:51am<b>domfux</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 3:13am<b>Macysdayparade8</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:03am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:52am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:56pm<b>hectorito55</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:44pm<b>lationas</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:38pm<b>JessicaM6</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:27pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:14pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:53pm<b>iammaddi</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Daunknownx25</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:10am<b>poiuipop</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:57am<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:14pm

Omfgitsmia's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Omfgitsmia's badges

Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74397) - you deserved it (4405)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (71595)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63123) - you deserved it (3193)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59359) - you deserved it (68183)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71058) - you deserved it (20145)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72442) - you deserved it (6104)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53276) - you deserved it (9527)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45034) - you deserved it (4277)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50837) - you deserved it (3268)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78461) - you deserved it (6593)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56669) - you deserved it (3516)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78488) - you deserved it (7031)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48262) - you deserved it (6222)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94805) - you deserved it (5975)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: