Omfgitsmia

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Offline (the 04/10/2016 at 7:45pm)

Omfgitsmia

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6770
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Omfgitsmia's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:44pm<b>jrey6104</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 6:18pm<b>Risea</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:51am<b>domfux</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 3:13am<b>Macysdayparade8</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:03am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:52am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:56pm<b>hectorito55</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:44pm<b>lationas</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:38pm<b>JessicaM6</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:27pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:14pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:53pm<b>iammaddi</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Daunknownx25</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:10am<b>poiuipop</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:57am<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:14pm

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Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

by JDziewaltowski / 05/24/2013 at 3:42am / United States / Transportation

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

by LightsOut / 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm / Love

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

by Carrie / 05/08/2013 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love