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Omfgitsmia

Offline (the 08/31/2015 at 6:45am) | Search for a member

Omfgitsmia

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5649
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Omfgitsmia's page activity

Visits<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:14pm

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Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44255) - you deserved it (3456)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54255) - you deserved it (3931)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44636) - you deserved it (5182)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62703) - you deserved it (5772)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52790) - you deserved it (9219)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58456) - you deserved it (16439)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56263) - you deserved it (7397)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56263) - you deserved it (7397)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

#20823799
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47390) - you deserved it (6136)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by stillembarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57085) - you deserved it (5540)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59266) - you deserved it (10634)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64568) - you deserved it (4453)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60159) - you deserved it (9297)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60159) - you deserved it (9297)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)



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