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Omfgitsmia

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Omfgitsmia
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1430
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50227) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51494) - you deserved it (3709)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42036) - you deserved it (9090)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42602) - you deserved it (20889)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

#20847276
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35035) - you deserved it (6114)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Beegee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47134) - you deserved it (5427)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

#20841179
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (7493)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39478) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48214) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (4657)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56963) - you deserved it (5169)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50990) - you deserved it (8910)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54394) - you deserved it (15245)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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