Omfgitsmia

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Offline (the 04/10/2016 at 7:45pm)

Omfgitsmia

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6851
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Omfgitsmia's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:44pm<b>jrey6104</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 6:18pm<b>Risea</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:51am<b>domfux</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 3:13am<b>Macysdayparade8</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:03am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:52am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:56pm<b>hectorito55</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:44pm<b>lationas</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:38pm<b>JessicaM6</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:27pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:14pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:53pm<b>iammaddi</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Daunknownx25</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:10am<b>poiuipop</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:57am<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:14pm

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Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my mother a pre-prepared deposit envelope with my fortnightly wage in it, in cash. I tell her exactly where the deposit box is and what to do. I'm now desperately calling the bank because my mother accidentely put my $1200 deposit in the little trash can for receipts under the ATM. FML

by outagrand / 08/01/2009 at 10:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML

by partycats / 07/23/2009 at 12:40am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

by kjcarey123 / 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

by kjcarey123 / 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

by expen_dable / 07/06/2009 at 1:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

by Dirtyswede / 06/17/2009 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

by superman_not / 06/10/2009 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML

by Fubar0906 / 05/18/2009 at 9:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

by Karmas3itch / 05/12/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

by seriouslywtf / 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy