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Omfgitsmia

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 7:01pm) | Search for a member

Omfgitsmia

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  • Number of visits : 2409
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (3125)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

#14298065
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10137) - you deserved it (45457)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

#14298065
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10137) - you deserved it (45457)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

#13974897
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (21527)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (2902)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19429) - you deserved it (25872)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32491) - you deserved it (3203)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

#13420604
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (5888)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by lovelesslonely (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

#13375159
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30025) - you deserved it (2698)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by jessii - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (33556)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (33556)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

#12283970
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7962) - you deserved it (49268)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:40am - misc - by MyFaceHurts (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34306) - you deserved it (7514)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (7596)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (7596)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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