Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Omfgitsmia

Search for a member

Omfgitsmia
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1468
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Omfgitsmia's last visitors

cnparks1990n4turess521mandy_2480BubbleGrungepanther2013Helldemonpinklover1121

Omfgitsmia's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Omfgitsmia's badges

Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (4631)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7036) - you deserved it (98301)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56341) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

#18108798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43182) - you deserved it (2454)

On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35206) - you deserved it (3033)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46819) - you deserved it (14937)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38401) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22348) - you deserved it (3498)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (2897)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

#17912138
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7613) - you deserved it (30665)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

#17894679
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (4764)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26535) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: