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Omfgitsmia

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 7:01pm) | Search for a member

Omfgitsmia

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2286
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Omfgitsmia's page activity

Visits<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>alixia84</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:39am<b>Cleu</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:54pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:46pm<b>flint37stone</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:31pm<b>n4ture</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:13pm<b>haocl</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:14am<b>ss521</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:01am<b>mandy_2480</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 1:15am<b>BubbleGrunge</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:37am<b>panther2013</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:14pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 11:09am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:05pm<b>pinklover1121</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:35pm<b>97mailo</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 3:08am<b>msmarles</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:16am<b>haynicole</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:25pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:17pm

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Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46549) - you deserved it (5126)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54920) - you deserved it (4025)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59462) - you deserved it (4298)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44948) - you deserved it (5354)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41761) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46758) - you deserved it (6521)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (38717)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47240) - you deserved it (4905)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42297) - you deserved it (7252)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66712) - you deserved it (4059)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48711) - you deserved it (6369)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (74569)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47067) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)



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