Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Omfgitsmia

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 7:01pm) | Search for a member

Omfgitsmia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2628
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Omfgitsmia's page activity

Visits<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>alixia84</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 3:39am<b>Cleu</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:54pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:46pm<b>flint37stone</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:31pm<b>n4ture</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:13pm<b>haocl</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:14am<b>ss521</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:01am<b>mandy_2480</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 1:15am<b>BubbleGrunge</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:37am<b>panther2013</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:14pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 11:09am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:05pm<b>pinklover1121</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:35pm<b>97mailo</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 3:08am<b>msmarles</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:16am<b>haynicole</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:25pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:17pm

Omfgitsmia's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Omfgitsmia's badges

Omfgitsmia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (46138)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (4261)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51492) - you deserved it (4518)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43845) - you deserved it (3187)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41271) - you deserved it (4660)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65070) - you deserved it (5121)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39964) - you deserved it (11086)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42821) - you deserved it (5436)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (47660)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58833) - you deserved it (11427)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (39349)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51503) - you deserved it (5897)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (4750)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: