Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Omega_Mus : "Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands. We're Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu. We come here on stage tonight to do our show for you. We got a rockin' rhythm and a hi-tech sound that'll make you move your body down to the ground. We got Poindexter on the violin, and Lewis and Gilbert will be joining in. We got Booger Presley on the mean guitar and a rap by little ol' me Lamar. We got Takashi beating on his gong, the boys and the Mu's are clapping along. And just when you thought, ya seen it all, along comes a Lambda four foot tall. So Wormser come on out here on the floor, so we can move our bodies, like never before. Break!"
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
Friday 24 October 2014