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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Olly

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Olly
  • Town/Country : Worthing, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 August 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2190
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Olly's favorite FMLs

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (9793) - you deserved it (776)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (6675) - you deserved it (709)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (6678)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (7416) - you deserved it (21376)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML

#4952046 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (6341) - you deserved it (60635)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Bee (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

#4950389 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (34260) - you deserved it (8089)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:54am - love - by crawfo (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

#4823053 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (39418) - you deserved it (4308)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (17563) - you deserved it (48214)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, at work I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss in my pants. FML

#4173931 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (7652) - you deserved it (31901)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

#4151935 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (5386) - you deserved it (54897)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (33405) - you deserved it (4692)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (42471) - you deserved it (6055)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (38264)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

#3581512 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (61293) - you deserved it (10724)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (8703) - you deserved it (46357)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States