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OliverGothic

Offline (the 03/13/2014 at 1:38am) | Search for a member

OliverGothic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 August 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 801
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About OliverGothic : Just a confused soul wandering this vast expanse of dust and rock that we call earth.

OliverGothic's page activity

Visits<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 12:53am<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 11:07pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 11:51pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 2:49pm<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 1:30am<b>oj101</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 3:24pm

OliverGothic's FML badges

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OliverGothic's favorite FMLs

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (5872)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35443) - you deserved it (16399)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59338) - you deserved it (7747)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37885) - you deserved it (9159)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36526) - you deserved it (16938)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52540) - you deserved it (11879)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46266) - you deserved it (7930)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79944) - you deserved it (8255)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (5327)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38814) - you deserved it (5590)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

#20534623
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (2249)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22248) - you deserved it (45496)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42916) - you deserved it (5405)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (3403)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (2631)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia



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