Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Oliok

Search for a member

Oliok

15Fucked!

OliokOliok
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits :
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Oliok : Musician and artist. Christian. Female. I ain't stupid, so don't play around. Fluent in English and Spanish. Studying Japanese. I work for the BSA and love to have fun. Shoot me a message I'm lonely ☆〜(ゝ。∂)さよなら

Oliok's page activity

Visits<b>Tantive_6</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:18pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:50am<b>lkah</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:44am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:53am<b>abattior</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:29pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:10am<b>spacefish966</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:09am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 4:40pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:46pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:16pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:54am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:36am<b>ircs56</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:41am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:24am<b>mthurston</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:51am<b>callabos921</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:43am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 3:13pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:06pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 9:13pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:09am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:38am<b>paravoz</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:57am<b>Krastrolytric</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:01pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:14am<b>clearlyroo440</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:06am<b>RA91</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:02pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:31am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:08pm<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:20am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:19am<b>SemiAuto</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:07pm

Oliok's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Oliok's badges

Oliok's favorite FMLs

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

#21469191
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (1746)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm - animals - by Urinator - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

#21450491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (3118)

On 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm - animals - by Wow (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (8516)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (35903)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

#21187067
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42881) - you deserved it (8654)

On 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by massachusettsan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

#21080429
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37067) - you deserved it (8833)

On 03/07/2014 at 10:41am - misc - by scaredypants123 - United States

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57148) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54924) - you deserved it (9189)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

#21037839
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50500) - you deserved it (18230)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63145) - you deserved it (7542)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54100) - you deserved it (7038)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: