Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Oinkshire

Search for a member

Oinkshire
  • Town/Country : Summerville , us
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 199
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Oinkshire : I'm 16. I play guitar, like swimming, running, baseball, and snowboarding

Oinkshire's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Oinkshire's badges

Oinkshire's favorite FMLs

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (2180)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22568) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16102) - you deserved it (5541)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

#19996058
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (4439)

On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11599) - you deserved it (33104)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8588) - you deserved it (25468)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (1906)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (3397)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9884) - you deserved it (22896)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38757) - you deserved it (4010)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (1735)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

#19899263
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (2263)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Toilettrash (woman) - United States

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

#19890601
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7341) - you deserved it (29239)

On 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: