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Oihana's FML badges
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Oihana's favorite FMLs
Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm / Romania (Giurgiu) / Animals
by mdg41 / 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by kana__ / 01/21/2015 at 11:26am / Japan / Miscellaneous
Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML
by M. Night Shytefuck / 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by exuberant_orange / 01/08/2015 at 10:56am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML
by anon / 01/05/2015 at 7:15pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML
by Dear Lord Save Me / 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm / United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil) / Miscellaneous
Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health
by duncan74 / 12/09/2014 at 10:23pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Animals
Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML
by Dani / 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous