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Oihana's FML badges
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Oihana's favorite FMLs
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health
by duncan74 / 12/09/2014 at 10:23pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Animals
by Amore / 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm / Kids
Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML
by Dani / 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by not saying it was whores, but... / 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
by fucksake / 10/05/2014 at 11:55am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/20/2014 at 11:28am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
by TuT / 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm / France / Love
Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 3:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm / United States / Love
Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
by makeyourselfathome / 09/17/2014 at 8:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals