This member hasn't filled in their description.
Oihana's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Oihana's favorite FMLs
by big_bail / 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML
by stoprubbingitinmyface / 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by quietecho95 / 03/20/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by david99021 / 03/19/2015 at 10:24am / Turkey (Ankara) / Health
Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML
by Idigrespectfulattire / 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML
by KillMePlease / 03/11/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML
by CrazyInLove / 03/10/2015 at 2:02am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my sister and I went to visit my grandma. She looked at my sister and said, "You are just so skinny! You need to eat more cookies!" She then turned to me and said, "You should lay off the cookies!" FML
by Becca34 / 03/06/2015 at 9:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML
by jlol / 03/05/2015 at 9:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML
by lion2294 / 03/05/2015 at 4:19am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, after several sleepless nights full of crying, I went to my university's free help center. After telling the psychologist my problems and asking what to do, he looked at me blankly and said, "Uh, it's not depression, I guess. You should go out more and, like, party some more." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Health
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm / Malta / Health
- Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home… Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in… Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I…