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Oihana's FML badges
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Oihana's favorite FMLs
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Party Pooper / 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2015 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids
by Hyenayena / 05/23/2015 at 5:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2015 at 10:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm / Cyprus (Paphos) / Work
by CryoSpectre / 05/11/2015 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML
by NevertheKool / 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money
by Random737193 / 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML
by anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/30/2015 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Limavady) / Work
Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML
by fatty / 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML
by guitarki / 04/26/2015 at 2:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML
by midnightxshadow / 04/23/2015 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML
by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (Dundee City) / Work
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,…
- Today, a customer bitched at me in front of her children for 10 minutes because I wouldn't open the… Today, my five year old daughter asked me why I wipe with sticks. I was very confused, so she then… Today, my boyfriend dumped me. One reason was because he couldn't have "intellectual conversations"…