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Oihana's FML badges
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Oihana's favorite FMLs
Today, I was having a dinner party. My guests were getting along really well. I mean, really well; it turns out they all went to the same high school. For the next five hours, I hosted a high school reunion for a school I didn't even go to, in my own home. FML
by trappedinmyownhome / 07/14/2015 at 10:11pm / Miscellaneous
by distracted / 07/13/2015 at 9:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2015 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Work
by Johnvris / 07/08/2015 at 10:44am / Aruba / Love
Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML
by No-Sleep Nellie / 07/07/2015 at 9:26am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML
by Lesbihonest / 06/17/2015 at 9:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML
by alyssaamarante / 06/12/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
by kash / 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Party Pooper / 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2015 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids
by Hyenayena / 05/23/2015 at 5:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2015 at 10:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm / Cyprus (Paphos) / Work
by CryoSpectre / 05/11/2015 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Love