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Oihana's FML badges
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Oihana's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a concert. At the end, my conductor was recognizing soloists. When he pointed at me, I was confused, but stood up anyway. It turns out he was pointing at the person behind me. I had to awkwardly sit back down in front of over 500 people. FML
by captainwhiskers / 02/23/2016 at 7:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was threatened to be held back because of the lack of teacher-parent communication. My parents refuse to sign my report card because of my one mark below ninety percent. My teacher was dead serious about failing me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 9:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
Today, I found out that I don't have to work tomorrow. Normally I would be thrilled to hear this, but not from the 6 o'clock news, doing a piece on my work's rat infestation and indefinite shut down. FML
by imahater07 / 01/28/2016 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML
by Soakedandbroke / 01/26/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML
by automotive glass tech / 01/21/2016 at 1:09pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
by Mr_Yato / 01/19/2016 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Brayden / 01/09/2016 at 10:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by whenlifeisalemon / 01/09/2016 at 6:19pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by retail can shart a cock / 01/09/2016 at 12:25am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 12/31/2015 at 1:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Smiley / 12/31/2015 at 9:33am / Aruba / Miscellaneous
Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML
by CogadhTallon / 12/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2015 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging… Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not… Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I…