Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 6:33pm) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML
Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML
Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML
Today, we had our second snow day in a row, something that never happens. So while the rest of school got to sleep late, I had to wake up early, get dressed, and go to my bus stop because my mom didn't believe me. FML
Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML
Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML
Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML
Friday 24 October 2014