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Offspring

Offline (the 03/30/2014 at 6:50am) | Search for a member

Offspring

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4027
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Offspring : Started out 21 planetary revolutions ago. Love all music, but metal's my favorite. Whether it be black, death, thrash, heavy, it doesn't matter; they're all good to me. I'm currently in school working on my associates degree.

Send a message if you want; you're more than welcome to.

Offspring's page activity

Visits<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:18pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:14pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:10am<b>gunner_12</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 6:37pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:47pm<b>tk14</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 7:36pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:26pm<b>NWO666</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:54pm<b>happylappy</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:29am<b>creativebeauty</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 6:10am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:01am<b>trencher97</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:16am<b>sleeplessjimmy</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:08am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:51am<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 2:33am<b>mygundropsbass</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 11:07pm<b>IrishGirl12</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 12:30pm<b>averbell</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 8:43pm

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Offspring's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8033) - you deserved it (83008)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38168) - you deserved it (8312) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12581) - you deserved it (51169)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42727) - you deserved it (3083)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38718) - you deserved it (5581)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32663) - you deserved it (6801)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30498) - you deserved it (2728)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (49261)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29758) - you deserved it (2623)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

#20546477
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (3167)

On 03/16/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Dat Stanky Mouf (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML

#20546325
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (15427)

On 03/16/2013 at 4:04pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

#20546221
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (7405)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (7033)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49391) - you deserved it (24447)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML



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