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Odispwnsu

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Odispwnsu
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 65
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Odispwnsu's last visitors

KissMyButtocks

Odispwnsu's FML badges

Consolation prize

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Odispwnsu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (9420)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58160) - you deserved it (8823)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (2181)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (4349)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51192) - you deserved it (9253)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43991) - you deserved it (5633)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28524) - you deserved it (6152)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31903) - you deserved it (3783)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34725) - you deserved it (4080)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35882) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (9881)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (3757)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

#14008430
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23225) - you deserved it (6217)

On 11/28/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (6108)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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