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OddBall96

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OddBall96
  • Town/Country : chino, united states
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 March 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 85
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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OddBall96's favorite FMLs

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (41738)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (3314)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32365) - you deserved it (4548)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44393) - you deserved it (6059)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45251) - you deserved it (8510)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (9926)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42472) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45925) - you deserved it (4579)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

#21037839
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (13659)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51976) - you deserved it (6863)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51178) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)



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