This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you totally deserved it (2989)
On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you totally deserved it (1910)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by walker (man) - United States (California)
Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7197) - you totally deserved it (25284)
On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7575) - you totally deserved it (21425)
On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you totally deserved it (2022)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was babysitting my boss' kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7489) - you totally deserved it (21228)
On 09/30/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4727) - you totally deserved it (26766)
On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you totally deserved it (4737)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31573) - you totally deserved it (1517)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32536) - you totally deserved it (14583)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you totally deserved it (5105)
On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59618) - you totally deserved it (1883)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41136) - you totally deserved it (9354)
On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you totally deserved it (17250)
On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9083) - you totally deserved it (30215)
On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)
[ Page : 1 ]
« Previous page | Next page »
