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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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October_Midnight

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October_Midnight
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 January 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 712
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About October_Midnight : Emily/Abby. (:

October_Midnight's last visitors

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October_Midnight's FML badges

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October_Midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (8980) - you deserved it (17346)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (3925)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

#5645796 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by walker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

#5636942 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (28611)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

#5604597 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (8919) - you deserved it (24829)

On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

#5579977 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (2632)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting my boss' kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

#5564554 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (8956) - you deserved it (24919)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (5977) - you deserved it (31146)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

#5464721 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (5507)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

#4478482 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (34735) - you deserved it (1919)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578 (580)

I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (22670)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55727) - you deserved it (135997)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

#2135843 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (5976)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

#1933237 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (66264) - you deserved it (2360)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

#1775796 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (13193) - you deserved it (52923)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:48am - love - by rawkdinosawr (woman) - United Kingdom (London)