Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Octain

Search for a member

Octain
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 584
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Octain : Love quad riding, muscle cars, video games, roller blading, drawing, animals, playing my instruments, drag racing (both watching and competing), and standing out from the crowd.

Musical Interests: Metal

Octain's last visitors

michaelm1290ironjawberkevin_staufyAudreySucksMornai1deep4lifeCovenant74kingsianGaragedwellajolienicoleshaar

Octain's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Octain's badges

Octain's favorite FMLs

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (1678)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (2468)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

#19772636
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16944) - you deserved it (1886)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

#19764456
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (13472)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (2157)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11022) - you deserved it (23314)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11991) - you deserved it (20168)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23876) - you deserved it (3473)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (3219)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (1805)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (1805)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (3752)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27188) - you deserved it (3395)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (8522)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

#17734808
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (4338)

On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: