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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (2644)
On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (3167)
On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10789) - you deserved it (39951)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50152) - you deserved it (9673)
On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (13120)
On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML
I agree, your life sucks (14309) - you deserved it (39261)
On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML
I agree, your life sucks (27575) - you deserved it (2179)
On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico
Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (5915)
On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his bestfriend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40028) - you deserved it (7496)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19318) - you deserved it (3664)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24417) - you deserved it (1558)
On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5733) - you deserved it (10271)
On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13049) - you deserved it (2916)
On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12631) - you deserved it (3286)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (8520)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
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