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OceanBlueSea

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OceanBlueSea

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4359
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About OceanBlueSea : Here are some quotes that amuse me:
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."

"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame."

As I said before, here are SOME....it would take way too long for all of em'.

OceanBlueSea's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:53pm<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 8:10am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:07am<b>rawpace</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:27pm<b>dalink</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:17pm<b>blakesinthelake</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:45pm<b>thehuntress309</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 10:31pm<b>kievking</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 11:09pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 9:08pm<b>scottishchris</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 8:13am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 11:44pm<b>deathhill3</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 12:49pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 10:53am<b>Ffuuu</b> - the 11/10/2012 at 6:30pm<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 09/12/2012 at 12:02pm

OceanBlueSea's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of OceanBlueSea's badges

OceanBlueSea's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53056) - you deserved it (17221)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44663) - you deserved it (14733)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (18574)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44527) - you deserved it (8825)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59474) - you deserved it (5654)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67556) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60364) - you deserved it (4388)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54823) - you deserved it (6345)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

#20792695
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52159) - you deserved it (4359)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (50520)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67830) - you deserved it (3955)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44605) - you deserved it (3721)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

#20787970
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43790) - you deserved it (6087)

On 07/17/2013 at 6:06am - love - by sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45913) - you deserved it (8990)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59573) - you deserved it (21013)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)



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