Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Obitlesswater420

Search for a member

Obitlesswater420

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 503
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Obitlesswater420 : Punk rock & grunge \m/ Bridge kid

Obitlesswater420's page activity

Visits<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 12:33am<b>ilovecuddling</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 3:00am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 9:59am<b>jonathan896</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 11:00pm<b>diceddiamonds</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 11:35pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:33pm

Obitlesswater420's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Obitlesswater420's badges

Obitlesswater420's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (15674)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21144) - you deserved it (9142)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (3704)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10500) - you deserved it (37028)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87721) - you deserved it (14668)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

#5579275
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9167) - you deserved it (37789)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

#5403982
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40021) - you deserved it (12592)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9019) - you deserved it (53202)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

#4996993
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (5974)

On 09/02/2009 at 11:12am - work - by hoboman (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59909) - you deserved it (6309)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44898) - you deserved it (7032)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (2535)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17044) - you deserved it (94903)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272200) - you deserved it (17614)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: