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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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OasC82

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OasC82
  • Town/Country : perk,ny
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 431
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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OasC82's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (8133) - you deserved it (2160)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (3136)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

#18010067 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (22726) - you deserved it (2494)

On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (34871) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (1215)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (6653) - you deserved it (929)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (5163)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (3880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

#17065483 (356)

I agree, your life sucks (33857) - you deserved it (4388)

On 07/11/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by illenram06 - Philippines (Roxas)

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

#17054303 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (1813)

On 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (26092) - you deserved it (3757)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (49715) - you deserved it (9499)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (5657)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (3042)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (9777) - you deserved it (37288)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)