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OakChair's favorite FMLs
by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek
by mel_bear_ / 03/14/2012 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML
by fmlsomuch / 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm / Japan / Miscellaneous
by Needsanewjob / 01/10/2012 at 10:34am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 3:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML
by wags34 / 08/22/2011 at 10:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Animals
by LuckySperm / 08/12/2011 at 9:14am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids
Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML
by Matt / 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by MissArizona / 08/08/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me,… Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an… Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I…